I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
