Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
