Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
