YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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