Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
