White coat. Heels.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
