and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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