another moral hangover. fuck.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
