my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
