It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
