Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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