I just pynch a tree in the face
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
