Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize