Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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