You can't motorboat a personality
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
