Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
