hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
