I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
