Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
