there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Randomize
