marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
