I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i need some magic done to my vagina
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
