In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
