i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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