Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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