i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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