me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
