I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
