i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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