I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
