i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You can't special order awesome
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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