through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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