dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
