At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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