She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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