Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
