i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
