i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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