If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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