Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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