I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
