is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
