i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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