What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
