OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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