I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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