Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
