Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
