Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
