Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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