Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
