problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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