I need to stop coming to work sober
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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