I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
