fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
