Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
