this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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