We're like a lot better than the average bears
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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