I puked a lego.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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