She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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