Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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