Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
